Stephen Colbert Roasts Trump’s Congressional Address in Scathing Late-Night Monologue

During tonight’s live broadcast of The Late Show, host Stephen Colbert wasted no time breaking down President Donald Trump’s joint address to Congress, delivering a sharp and comedic critique of the nearly two-hour speech. Colbert, known for his relentless takedowns of Trump’s rhetoric, dissected key talking points from the address, highlighting what he saw as contradictions, exaggerations, and outright fabrications.

Opening his monologue, Colbert set the tone for the night by mocking the length of Trump’s speech, joking that it felt like an “eternity filled with applause breaks, self-congratulations, and reality distortion.” He compared the address to a “teleprompter marathon,” where the president carefully read pre-scripted lines while trying to appear “presidential” in front of the cameras.

From the economy to immigration, healthcare to foreign policy, Colbert took aim at Trump’s claims, questioning their accuracy and consistency. One of the biggest targets of the night was Trump’s repeated assertion that his administration had accomplished more in a short time than any other presidency.

“Look, if you really want to set records, why not go for fastest impeachment?” Colbert quipped, drawing cheers from his live audience.

Colbert then zeroed in on Trump’s economic boasts, particularly his claims about job creation and record-breaking stock market performance. The late-night host sarcastically noted that Trump loves to take credit for economic trends that began long before he took office.

“Imagine moving into a house that was already built, decorated, and fully furnished, and then telling everyone, ‘Wow, I really outdid myself here!’” Colbert joked. “That’s basically Trump with the economy.”

Colbert also took a swipe at Trump’s repeated references to border security and immigration, which were major focal points of the speech. Trump painted a dire picture of crime and chaos at the southern border, using emotional anecdotes to push for stricter immigration policies.

Colbert, however, wasn’t buying it. “According to Trump, America is under siege. Meanwhile, actual crime rates are dropping,” he said. “Maybe instead of building a wall, we should build a fact-checking department inside the White House.”

Healthcare also made its way into Trump’s address, with the president once again promising to lower prescription drug prices and protect coverage for pre-existing conditions. However, Colbert was quick to remind viewers that Trump has previously pushed for policies that would weaken those very protections.

“Watching Trump promise to protect healthcare is like watching a fox say, ‘Don’t worry, I’m here to protect the henhouse,’” Colbert joked. “Sir, we remember what you did last time.”

Trump also touted his administration’s efforts to support veterans, a claim that Colbert challenged by referencing ongoing issues within the Department of Veterans Affairs. He pointed out that while Trump often praises service members in speeches, his administration’s policies haven’t always backed up those words.

“Trump loves the military, but only in the way that a reality TV producer loves their contestants,” Colbert said. “He’ll use them for a good moment on camera, but when the show’s over, they’re on their own.”

One of the most entertaining parts of Colbert’s recap was his tally of the number of times Trump received a standing ovation during the speech. The late-night host joked that Republican lawmakers had turned the address into a “national exercise in synchronized clapping.”

“At one point, I thought Congress was going to collectively develop carpal tunnel syndrome,” Colbert said. “Every time Trump paused, they shot out of their seats like they were in a game of presidential Simon Says.”

Despite Trump’s attempts to present himself as a unifying leader, Colbert argued that the speech was nothing more than a “greatest hits album” of his usual talking points, with a few extra applause lines thrown in for good measure.

“This speech had everything,” Colbert summarized. “Scary immigrants? Check. Boasts about himself? Check. A vague promise about infrastructure that will probably never happen? Check. It’s like he put his entire presidency into a blender and hit ‘puree.’”

Colbert wrapped up his monologue with a mock prediction about how Trump would react to the inevitable fact-checking and media criticism.

“He’s probably already rage-tweeting from the White House, calling this the greatest speech in history and claiming that the ratings were ‘higher than the Super Bowl,’” Colbert said. “Because in Trump’s world, if he says it enough times, it must be true.”

While Trump’s address may have been aimed at painting a picture of a successful administration, Colbert’s comedic takedown offered a starkly different interpretation. With biting humor and sharp analysis, the Late Show host once again positioned himself as one of Trump’s most outspoken late-night critics.

Whether audiences agree or not, one thing is certain: Colbert isn’t backing down from calling out Trump’s rhetoric, one punchline at a time.